Editor's note: The Penn St. situation is saddening on many level and not something to be poked at in a piece like this.
10 Weekly piledriving of New Mexico – The embarrassment continues for New Mexico. At least the Lobos scored this week, but that's about the only thing I can say about this pathetic sad sack of a team. Given their current effort level, I'm not sure if the members of this team haven't decided to make a run at worst team ever (they will never make it considering some of the past history of teams like Kansas St., Oregon St and Northwestern).
9 The firing line – Houston Nutt. You're fired. And you're fired not for losing to the the top of the SEC West. Come on. Your Ole Miss. You pretty much always lose to the top of the SEC West. Your fired for losing to the bottom of the weaker SEC East. Blowout losses to Kentucky and Vanderbilt in the same season are, at best shameful, even for a bad SEC roster.
8 Losing to your rival as a favorite, five straight years – North Carolina obviously has talent. Many weeks they even use that talent well. Never during NC State week though. For the 5th straight year (also known as the entire NC State tenure of hotseat sitter Tom O'Brien), the Tar Heels lost a s a favorite to rival NC State. For the 3rd straight year, it appears as though the Tar Heels have single-handedly kept Tom O'Brien employed as the NC State head coach. For North Carolina fans, I'm sorry you keep losing to your main rival (let's be honest here, Duke is so bad they can't be your rival in football). For NC State fans, I'm sorry you are stuck with O'Brien and his ridiculous forms of roster mismanagement for another year.
7 The offensive ineptitude is staggering – Iowa St. 13, Kansas 10. Believe me, this was not LSU-Alabama. This was a display of crap, nothing more. Kansas is incapable of dong anything right on defense and they are even worse on defense. That they only gave up 13 points is an indictment of the other offense, no matter what it has done to this point or will do after this point.
6 The defensive ineptitude is staggering (but a lot more fun to watch) – Northern Illinois 63, Toledo 60. Much more fun to watch was this game, played by teams that evidently have arms made of Play Dough. Yes, the tackling was that bad. It wasn't quite air but it was close. Oh yeah, and Toledo stupidly trusted its defense to win the game in the last two minutes. DID THE COACHING STAFF LOOK AT THE SCORE before making that very unwise decision?
5 Who the heck scheduled last Saturday – 5PM kickoff – Game of the Century Alabama vs LSU. No problem. 5PM kickoff - 2nd best game of the day Oklahoma St. vs Kansas St. Ugh, annoying. 4:15PM kickoff – Other SEC Top Ten matchup Arkansas vs South Carolina. What the Hell are the tv executives thinking scheduling all of these big games at the same time. 9AM kickoff – Best Game Iowa vs Michigan. We couldn't get a halfway decent game moved into this timeslot somehow? 12:30PM kickoff – Best Game Oklahoma vs Texas A&M. Why oh why tv executives? The Oklahoma St.-Kansas St. game should have kicked off in the 12:30 slot (where it would have fit nicely in the schedule, switching with Oklahoma-Texas A&M). The Arkansas-South Carolina game should have kicked off at 9AM (a timeslot the SEC rarely uses on ESPN, but that they do have access to a couple of times per season). And the Game of the Century should have kicked off at the same time with Kirk Herbstreit in the radio booth for ESPN Radio. This also would have saved us from this...
4 Crying in the stands – As an Auburn alum and fan, I take a particular glee in throwing this thing to you.
3 SEC cupcakery – When did we reach September? Why are we traveling backwards in time? These are the questions I have for SEC teams playing out of conference games last week. The shameful opponent list: New Mexico St. (lost 63-16 to Georgia), Middle Tennessee St. (lost 24-0 to Tennessee) and Tennessee-Martin (lost 55-17 to Mississippi St.). Pathetic.
2 The fighting spirit of Texas Tech – Not long ago, Texas Tech was being praised after beating Oklahoma on the road to move into the top 25. Now, it appears as though the Sooners played their worst game in the Bob Stoops era. How else could anyone explain Oklahoma losing to this sad sack bunch that has been destroyed by a combined 93-27 by Iowa St. and Texas since? Worse yet, it appears Tommy Tuberville's bunch may not even make a bowl game. Awful.
1 Pulling the kicker off the couch – This one is improbable. And shockingly, considering we are talking about Lowlight favorite Tennessee (7-3-3 defense, Opportunity is Nowhere, losing because the opponent had 18 men on the field for the final play, Derek Dooley's Orange Pants and having LaMichael James break most of the teams tackles last year on one play), it actually worked. What happened? Tennessee pulled a kicker off the couch of a frat house 45 minutes before kickoff. Seriously. They even gave him a breathalyzer to ensure he wasn't drunk when he got to the stadium. I'll let him explain the rest.
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