Coaching Lowlights Countdown of the Year

10 Prayer for New Mexico – Mike Locksley and his exploits of inane coaching stupidity would be number 1, if I hadn't already done an entire Lowlight post on his existence as the New Mexico coach. Go read it here.

9 The existence of Randy Edsall, head coach of Maryland – Edsall was coming off a BCS berth with UConn and took over a 9-4 team with a preseason all-conference quarterback. Of course he ran it not just into the ground, but so far into the ground that two more years of this along with the excessive attrition caused by his form of discipline could move him into Locksley territory (at least on the field). Of course the Terps got what they deserved since they fired an alumni who was coach of the year and replaced him with a poor man's version of the same coach. They got what they deserved because they had the coach who looks like he is going to turn Vanderbilt into a real contender under contract as coach in waiting and couldn't wait to get rid of him. And they also got what they deserved because they interviewed Locksley for the job (seriously they did) because of his recruiting ties to the Washington D.C. Area.

8 You trusted your defense? Why? - The final score reads like a basketball score. Northern Illinois 63, Toledo 60. That doesn't tell the whole story. In this game, Toledo scored with 4:16 to go to take a 60-56 lead. Northern Illinois then drove to the Toledo 27 yard line in only two plays. At that point, what would you do? Your options are have faith in you defense to get a stop even though it had allowed 56 points in the game already or let Northern Illinois score and take your chances driving for either a tying field goal or a winning touchdown with about two minutes on the clock. If you chose the first option, you are Tim Beckman. You picked wrong. Northern Illinois scored with 19 seconds left and not even the turbocharged offenses found in this game were capable of pulling that off.

7 Ron Zook doesn't know the score - Against Indiana, Ron Zook had his team go for two. no problem there except the score was 20-13. Going for two and failing left it a one-score game. Going for two and getting it would be a relatively meaningless nine point lead. Of course that's not all though. After the game, the press asked Zook about it and he said he went for two because he thought his team was down by five. WHAT??? All you had to do Zook was look at the scoreboard. And to think, this is when things were going well of Illinois. The win in this game when his team blew Indiana out later on was number six in a 6-0 start, the best Illini start since 1951. It was Zook's final win as Illinois coach.

6 Whoever is coaching the Wisconsin secondary – It was bad enough to lose on a Hail Mary against Michigan St. when the defense forgot the first rule of Hail Mary defense: KNOCK IT DOWN.

Then came an even more mind blowing offense: allowing Braxton Miller to beat you with his arm. Even worse, the winning pass was in the air for about an hour and still nobody managed to get there.

5 Charlie Weis, Kansas head coach – LOL.

4 Derek Dooley, King of the Orange Pants – Dooley had tons of injury problems this season. He also struggled to deal with the media or have his team play hard in the face of all the injuries. He enters next season on the hotseat because of that. But he still has his orange pants.

3 Week after week, it was always the same – Texas A&M coach Mike Sherman (make that former coach) came from the NFL. And his NFL roots caused all sorts of issues. Most notably, NFL coaches are conservative with the lead. It's just how they are bred in the pros (UCLA fans take note in your complaints about Dan Guerrero). This year, that bacckfired on Mike Sherman. Week after week, A&M would get a big lead. And week after week, Sherman would get conservative with his play calling. And week after week, teams would come roaring back against a defense that had no secondary to speak of (for much of the season, A&M led the nation in sacks while somehow being the worst pass defense in the nation, meaning anytime the quarterback got a throw off, there was about a 50/50 chance of it being a 30 yard gain). After seeing offenseless Texas do it in the final meeting between the schools, the A&M administration had enough. Now they have a coach that, if nothing else, will continue to keep throwing the ball around with the lead to protect his bad pass defense (something Kevin Sumlin should be all too familiar with after the last few years at Houston).

2 RAGE FACE -

You would be angry too if your offense did what Brian Kelly's Notre Dame offense did the first few weeks of the season.

1 You iced your own kicker, Really?!? - Gary Pinkel, come on down. You iced your kicker when he had a chance to win the game (on the final play). Your overtime loss to Arizona St. because of this was well deserved. Given that statistically, icing the kicker does no good, I don't understand why more coaches don't go stand next to the official and then let the play happen. Of course that doesn't apply to your own coach. I also believe that your own coach needs to let you kick. When the kicker is lined up and hears his own coach called timeout, I think he thinks in his head WTF? Then he ices himself and misses (see also Dallas Cowboys). In addition to this debacle from way back in September, Pinkel could easily make this list for getting suspended for Missouri's home finale by getting a DUI arrest during the season. He probably would be on the list for that had Missouri not managed to come through and win anyway.

Lowlights - Because even Thanksgiving can give us unintentional football comedy

10 Weekly prayer for New Mexico – The pathetic Lobos had a bye week this week. Sadly, that means I don't have much to say about my weekly punching bag until next week's inevitable blowout loss on the blue turf to Boise St. Hopefully Bob Davie has some idea of the smoking crater he is walking into (of course it couldn't be as bad as number 1 on this countdown, a game he witnessed in person)

9 The look of terror in the punters eyes when he screws up

8 The season long trend of blowing a lead – Texas A&M did what the 2011 version of Texas A&M does, one last time. They blew a lead. For the 5^th time this season, the Aggies led by double digits and lost the game. And they even managed to do it in the most agonizing way possible: by having their opponent make a kick on the final play (something everybody else has pretty much failed miserably at all season)

7 The season long trend of blowing a lead... part 2, the less publicized version – Also in the blowing a lead category, we have Pittsburgh, a team that has done it nearly as well as Texas A&M and also managed to do it in what could be the last game of an important rivalry after blowing a 20-7 lead against West Virginia. Of course, this trend first popped up in week 3 against Iowa when the Panthers made the Hawkeyes look like Oklahoma St. in the 4^th quarter. It continued through five total losses after holding a second half lead. Terrible.

6 Schnelly's a winner – Since senile and retiring old man Howard Schnellenberger finally won a game this season, that means someone else is a big loser. Worthy of this list. That man in Neil Callaway, former head coach at UAB. Not that is would have mattered, but UAB fired (ok Callaway “resigned”) him Sunday after five year of pathetic football, topped off by the second most pathetic loss of anyone is college football this season (the worst is obviously UNLV finding a way to lose to New Mexico).

5 Adding insult to whatever Ole Miss tired to pass off as a football season this year – Ole Miss was awful. Everyone knows that. Houston Nutt is a pathetic coach of quarterbacks. Everyone knows that too. That said, a Nutt quarterback finally had a bright spot in the final game. Trailing 31-3, Barry Brunetti (the umpteenth failed quarterback this season) finally threw a perfect catch. It was caught for a touchdown. Ole Miss fans, miserable from this season and getting blown out by a rival, got a touchdown with 10 seconds to go. Of course, it was overturned (correctly). And thus, the most delusional and idiotic fanbase in college football was punched in the stomach, again. As deserved (even if they are completely right about their outgoing moron of a coach).

4 Losing to Colorado at home is worthy of this list – As it turned out with the other results, all Utah had to do was win the game against Colorado to steal the Pac-12 South after an 0-4 conference start. In addition, that game was against Colorado, who's seniors were 0 for their careers in road games. Of course the Utes lost. Of course, the Utes still win by losing. They aren't getting sent to Oregon to be bludgeoned and they still have a competent coach who was in an obvious rebuilding situation as opposed to the idiocy that reigns pretty much every where else except USC in this division.

3 50-0, and the champs are the losers? - I'm thankful UNLV's big basketball win over North Carolina was on at the same time. Actually, so is the rest of the world considering that USC was so far in front of UCLA that a Bruin NFL alumni team couldn't have come back in the 2^nd half. All anyone needs to know is that college basketball between teams from other areas was trending on twitter here in Los Angeles and the USC-UCLA debacle was not.

2 You let a wide receiver playing quarterback end of the longest streaks in the sport? - Tennessee hadn't lost to Kentucky since 1984. Many of you readers weren't even born the last time it happened (I was all of a year old). Of course, Kentucky beat Tennessee over the weekend. But that's not the truly low part of this. The low part is Kentucky played a wide receiver a quarterback and managed a grand total of 15 yards passing. Given that and the parts of the game I saw, I thought the misery on display on the field was destined for number 1 this week, then I saw...

1 ...The Worst Game in Sunshine Rivalry History – Florida St. 21, Florida 7. Yet that scoreline so doesn't do this masterpiece of misery justice. This was the worst offensive game I have ever seen parts of (and I watched all of 3-2 back in 2008). The carnage for Florida St.: 95 total yards, longest drive of 20 yards, 9 punts, 1 turnover, 1 missed FG and 1 turnover on downs. The even worse carnage for Florida: 184 total yards (though we have come to expect this out of Florida's miserable offense this season), longest drive of 70 yards (see below for how that piece of garbage ended), 4 Interceptions, and 9 punts. The game was so bad, Bob Davie had a running count on the screen of the number of negative plays each team ran. It encompassed nearly 1/3 of the game. The game also included this gem on 4^th and 1 from Florida after the longest drive of the game by either team:

And that, my friends is how to sum up the single worst offensive game in many years. 4^th and 1 quarterback sneak loses 18 yards without a fumble.

Week 11 College Football Lowlights

10 Prayer for New Mexico – Wait a minute. What do you mean? These sadsack losers actually managed to win a game? Against who? ...UNLV. Oh, that explains everything. Wait a minute! Even UNLV should have clubbed this guys. Since the most miserable (performance wise) college head coach to ever walk the Earth was fired, this team somehow had gotten worse. More on the idiocy of UNLV to lose this game later (come on, anyone who regularly reads this blog knows what number 1 is going to be. Every team to lose to New Mexico for the last three years has been number 1).

9 I know there was more to this game... - but come on. The Penn St.-Nebraska game played out exactly like anyone with a brain would have thought it might play out before the scandal. The Penn St. offense was its usual train wreck and the Penn St. defense made life miserable for Nebraska's offense, making for the normal unwatchable Penn St. game. And it will be more of the same next week against Ohio St. until Wisconsin incinerates the Nittany Lions at Camp Randall in a couple of weeks.

8 The Pac-12 South goes to new lows – I know there was wind and snow that the sunny Southern teams aren't used to, but this was ridiculous. UCLA played its first snow game in over 30 years. It showed. They blew control of the division getting smoked by Utah 31-6. Then Arizona St. gave it right back, getting bombed by Washington St.'s 3^rd string quarterback for nearly 500 passing yards. Meanwhile, Arizona hit a new low in the frozen wind of Folsom Field in Colorado where they handed the previously totally incompetent Buffaloes their first conference win. Do we really have to play the Conference Championship Game this season?

7 Another common theme Texas A&M... - I think everyone should know where this is going. A&M led Kansas St. by double digits in the 4^th quarter. They lost, as usual. That said, the middle of the SEC never looked so enticing (more on them later). Those teams can't score enough to make the necessary comebacks.

6 Toledo defense – Toledo had scored 60 and 66 points the last two weeks for an average of 63. They salvaged a split. And no this isn't the basketball lowlights. Those don't start until we get to conference play in January.

5 Boise St. kicking game – Yes, you get to see all the failures of the kicking game in the last couple of years. You, Boise St., have wanted to be accepted into the top levels of college football. At least your kicking game is well on the way, at least if you want the Bobby Bowden Florida St. treatment.

4 Memphis, Memphis, Memphis – You hired Locksley without the off field garbage. Larry Porter is awful. He might be worse than Locksley as a pure coach (at least without all the other nonsense). And he took his craft of misery to a new low on Saturday. UAB 41, Memphis 35. OK, it was a bad loss in a game that ESPN couldn't even be bothered to watch long enough to have a play-by-play feed up (seriously). Then you realize that Memphis blew a 24 point lead in the 4^th quarter to one of the worst teams in the country. Facepalm...

3 The middle of the SEC – Just avoid this at all costs. LSU and Alabama are incredible. Arkansas is quite good. Georgia has developed rather nicely over the course of the season and if you don't believe me, go ask Auburn, who were taken to the woodshed by the Bulldogs even worse than LSU did. The rest of the SEC is pretty much horse poo at this point. South Carolina without Lattimore looks like an SEC team from the 2005 dark ages when we regularly were getting utter offensive misery (remember that Alabama that season started 9-0 under Mike Shula while scoring the rough equivalent of nothing, beating one of the worst Tennessee teams ever 6-3). Auburn has been blown out four times and its game against Florida was one of the most abominable and unwatchable games in years (since the 2008 Auburn team redefined bad offensive football). Florida didn't even get its customary Georgia gift this season and everything else about them has been utterly miserable since the mirage to start the season. Tennessee evidently is cursed for all eternity for angering the football gods (fired Fulmer for Kiffin) and the rest are the rest, where only Vanderbilt is performing at or above expectations. When Vandy is the bright light of the bottom of the league, the league is awful, no matter how improved Vandy is. Because they're Vandy.

2 What happened at Texas Tech? - Since getting up 31-7 on Oklahoma, the Red Raiders have been outscored 190-43. Yes, I know they won the Oklahoma game (in what appears to be one of the most befuddling results since the 2007 top team meltdown), but yeesh. Even the fans can do nothing more than hang their heads in shame.

1 You lost to New Mexico? - You, UNLV have even managed to top your own standards of total futility. And considering you lost by over 20 to an FCS team in September and hadn't managed it yet, this is telling. Heck, New Mexico over the last 3-4 weeks hadn't even looked like a good high school team How could you lose to them on the road? Let's go to the carnage report (aka the box score) to see the damage done: Nothing of importance. WHAAAAATT???? The stats are normal. You lost to New Mexico without turnovers, flukiness or anything else weird other than giving up an 80 yard TD on the first play of the game? This really is a new low. If the coaching staff wasn't in the second year of digging UNLV out of a crater that evidently is as bad as New Mexico's is for the new coach there, I would fire them all, but who would UNLV get anyway. We all know the only reason they even play football there at this point is to keep the basketball team in a halfway decent league, something they would not be allowed in without a football team (the WCC and all of its religious schools aren't taking UNLV, ever).

Week 10 Lowlights Countdown

Editor's note: The Penn St. situation is saddening on many level and not something to be poked at in a piece like this.

10 Weekly piledriving of New Mexico – The embarrassment continues for New Mexico. At least the Lobos scored this week, but that's about the only thing I can say about this pathetic sad sack of a team. Given their current effort level, I'm not sure if the members of this team haven't decided to make a run at worst team ever (they will never make it considering some of the past history of teams like Kansas St., Oregon St and Northwestern).

9 The firing line – Houston Nutt. You're fired. And you're fired not for losing to the the top of the SEC West. Come on. Your Ole Miss. You pretty much always lose to the top of the SEC West. Your fired for losing to the bottom of the weaker SEC East. Blowout losses to Kentucky and Vanderbilt in the same season are, at best shameful, even for a bad SEC roster.

8 Losing to your rival as a favorite, five straight years – North Carolina obviously has talent. Many weeks they even use that talent well. Never during NC State week though. For the 5^th straight year (also known as the entire NC State tenure of hotseat sitter Tom O'Brien), the Tar Heels lost a s a favorite to rival NC State. For the 3^rd straight year, it appears as though the Tar Heels have single-handedly kept Tom O'Brien employed as the NC State head coach. For North Carolina fans, I'm sorry you keep losing to your main rival (let's be honest here, Duke is so bad they can't be your rival in football). For NC State fans, I'm sorry you are stuck with O'Brien and his ridiculous forms of roster mismanagement for another year.

7 The offensive ineptitude is staggering – Iowa St. 13, Kansas 10. Believe me, this was not LSU-Alabama. This was a display of crap, nothing more. Kansas is incapable of dong anything right on defense and they are even worse on defense. That they only gave up 13 points is an indictment of the other offense, no matter what it has done to this point or will do after this point.

6 The defensive ineptitude is staggering (but a lot more fun to watch) – Northern Illinois 63, Toledo 60. Much more fun to watch was this game, played by teams that evidently have arms made of Play Dough. Yes, the tackling was that bad. It wasn't quite air but it was close. Oh yeah, and Toledo stupidly trusted its defense to win the game in the last two minutes. DID THE COACHING STAFF LOOK AT THE SCORE before making that very unwise decision?

5 Who the heck scheduled last Saturday – 5PM kickoff – Game of the Century Alabama vs LSU. No problem. 5PM kickoff - 2^nd best game of the day Oklahoma St. vs Kansas St. Ugh, annoying. 4:15PM kickoff – Other SEC Top Ten matchup Arkansas vs South Carolina. What the Hell are the tv executives thinking scheduling all of these big games at the same time. 9AM kickoff – Best Game Iowa vs Michigan. We couldn't get a halfway decent game moved into this timeslot somehow? 12:30PM kickoff – Best Game Oklahoma vs Texas A&M. Why oh why tv executives? The Oklahoma St.-Kansas St. game should have kicked off in the 12:30 slot (where it would have fit nicely in the schedule, switching with Oklahoma-Texas A&M). The Arkansas-South Carolina game should have kicked off at 9AM (a timeslot the SEC rarely uses on ESPN, but that they do have access to a couple of times per season). And the Game of the Century should have kicked off at the same time with Kirk Herbstreit in the radio booth for ESPN Radio. This also would have saved us from this...

4 Crying in the stands – As an Auburn alum and fan, I take a particular glee in throwing this thing to you.

3 SEC cupcakery – When did we reach September? Why are we traveling backwards in time? These are the questions I have for SEC teams playing out of conference games last week. The shameful opponent list: New Mexico St. (lost 63-16 to Georgia), Middle Tennessee St. (lost 24-0 to Tennessee) and Tennessee-Martin (lost 55-17 to Mississippi St.). Pathetic.

2 The fighting spirit of Texas Tech – Not long ago, Texas Tech was being praised after beating Oklahoma on the road to move into the top 25. Now, it appears as though the Sooners played their worst game in the Bob Stoops era. How else could anyone explain Oklahoma losing to this sad sack bunch that has been destroyed by a combined 93-27 by Iowa St. and Texas since? Worse yet, it appears Tommy Tuberville's bunch may not even make a bowl game. Awful.

1 Pulling the kicker off the couch – This one is improbable. And shockingly, considering we are talking about Lowlight favorite Tennessee (7-3-3 defense, Opportunity is Nowhere, losing because the opponent had 18 men on the field for the final play, Derek Dooley's Orange Pants and having LaMichael James break most of the teams tackles last year on one play), it actually worked. What happened? Tennessee pulled a kicker off the couch of a frat house 45 minutes before kickoff. Seriously. They even gave him a breathalyzer to ensure he wasn't drunk when he got to the stadium. I'll let him explain the rest.

College Football Lowlights Countdown Week 9

10 This is no longer a prayer for New Mexico – I've given up on the prayer for New Mexico. The Lobos have quit. And it's pathetic. This week they lost 42-0 to Air Force's backup quarterback, a week after losing 69-0 to TCU. I never thought Locksley could have possibly been a positive for this team, but at least they seemed to try, even if they were never particularly good at anything at all under him.

9 Last week was a big high, this one a big low – Texas Tech pulled off a gigantic road upset at Oklahoma last week (Tommy Tuberville special). This week they completed the Tommy Tuberville combo by getting blown out at home by an inferior opponent. I can't tell you how many times I watched that happen in one form or another when Tuberville was at Auburn. 2002: obliterated at home against Arkansas, win against top 10 LSU two weeks later. 2006: obliterated at home by Arkansas, beat eventual national champion Florida the next week. 2007: lose to South Florida and Mississippi St., beat Tim Tebow Florida on the road. 2001: beat Rex Grossman Florida at home, need overtime to beat Louisiana Tech the next week and then get blown out by Arkansas (sensing a common theme here). And so on...

8 You do realize you were losing don't you? - BYU got blown out by TCU last Friday (the score ended up a lot closer than the game really was. That didn't stop BYU QB Riley Nelson from celebrating a bit after scoring. Of course, who knew the celebration would be with the referee?

Funny - Funny Videos

7 A truly shameful offensive effort – Kansas managed a grand total of 43 yards of offense against Texas. Pathetic. One first down that wasn't on the final drive or penalty aided. Deplorable. Anyone else have any other words to describe how bad it was? I doubt it since anyone reading only saw the boxscore, like me since the game was televised by the Longhorn Network. I wonder if there were more viewers or Kansas yards?

6 Clemson forgot to take it's meds – All season long, bloggers, pundits, fans and many others wondered when the other shoe would drop and Clemson would lose a game. Basically because they're Clemson and they invent cruel new ways to torment their fanbase pretty much every season. This year, they have Sammy Watkins and he had been the medicine to avoid the Clemson screwup. Of course Clemson can't use the Watkins medicine when he's not on the field and Georgia Tech held the ball 39:00 meaning there wasn't enough time for the double dose of Watkins meds needed for Clemson to win this.

5 I guess Iowa dislikes pork – The Floyd of Rosedale. An enduring trophy that should pretty much always be held in the great state of Iowa. A nice bronzed pig it is. And all Iowa has to do is beat awful Minnesota each year to gain or retain it. Guess they need help with that one. Iowa somehow wasn't in possession of the Floyd this season entering the game (I have no idea how they lost last year). This season, they still aren't in possession of it. Reason: They lost to MINNESOTA. Shameful, truly shameful.

4 Losing to UNLV – But not as bad as losing to UNLV. Colorado St. managed that one despite having a late lead. I have little else to say, but any UNLV win will put a team in this space.

3 Texas A&M after the half – Oklahoma St. Arkansas. The collapses are well-chronicled. That said those teams are ranked in the top 10 and they are there for a reason. Missouri? That team was overrated to start the season. Now. A&M has egg on its face again after losing to Missouri. I have to ask the question: is the SEC really taking both of these teams and their Clemsonesque tendencies?

2 Offensive Penn St. - Those familiar with this blog should be familiar with section. It's the weekly section where I make offensive offense jokes about Penn St.'s offensive offense and cry tears of pain from having watched their quarterbacks fail miserably at the game of football. Even so, nothing could have prepared America for what was coming next in Happy Valley...

… I'm sure you realize what this meant. Ugly, painful, boring, style-point free Penn St. football that even biased observers had to be thinking about turning off. (Just as a note, the snow here wasn't as bad by gametime and you could actually see the field, unlike at the Rutgers-West Virginia game)

1 Shameful stupidity – No snark here. Just heinous crime. I hope this guy is suspended, especially considering his unshown celebration and attitude while in the locker room after his ejection (that video is just shameful).

Lowlights Countdown Week 8

10 Prayer for New Mexico – 69-0. How do you lose 69-0? Of course I asked a very similar question last season when this team lost a game 72-0. The Curse of Locksley is upon you. One of the other winless teams managed to win this week (there is now only one other than New Mexico and that team is coached by the jurassic aged Howard Schnellenberger in the Sun Belt). As for hope, what hope is there other than a home visit from UNLV coming on Novermber 12. By the way, the entire world should be sending cards of condolence and mourning for those poor journalists assigned to cover that game. The fans are at least choosing to watch that horrow show.

9 Utah St. 4^th quarter insanity fails – As it turned out, the onside kick defeat to Auburn to open the season became something of a pattern.. Since then, Utah St. has won two games by blowout margins and lost every other game by blowing a 4^th quarter lead. At some point in the near future, this team is going to be quite good. Right now, they are New Mexico in the 4^th quarter after playing like top 25 team in the first 3 quarters. In fact, if they had held all of their 3^rd quarter leads, this team would be 7-0 right now.

8 Field Goal Net Fail – Methinks one half of the field goal net crew thought there was no chance this kick was going to be good.

7 Minnesota is terrible...

...and the world hates them too given that they failed on this play against Nebraska by one of the most ridiculous rules in the rule book.

6 Hail Mary – Great play by Michigan St., but let's face it, you give up a Hail Mary, it's your own fault and you deserve to be in this countdown somewhere. Most notable is the defensive back mistiming his jump horribly. Since there are a lot of pictures and video this week, go find it yourself if you want to see it again.

5 Georgia Tech passing pain – The Yellow Jackets won the ACC two seasons ago. They looked capable of doing it again early this season. Then Tevin Washington remembered he is a running back trying to throw in an option offense. With his arm back to normal and Georgia Tech back to its usual scattershot ways, the run game has collapsed and so has the team.

4 The humiliation of 2 – Is it better to get shut out or lose with only a safety on the board? That is a question Colorado fans are currently pondering after falling behind 35-0 in the first quarter and only scoring on a botched punt return (by resident Oregon pinhead Cliff Harris). The final was 45-2, but it could have easily been 145-2 had Oregon wanted to go there.

3 Big East BCS representative – West Virginia was steamrolled by Syracuse (losing to Syracuse isn't necessarily shameful, getting blown out by that pea shooter offense is though). Conference co-leader Rutgers didn't bother to bring the offense and lost to Louisville. All we are really left with at this point is Cincinnati. The same Cincinnati who got throttled in its last two BCS games with a better coach and roster. Most damning about the Bearcats (other than their mascot getting arrested for throwing snowballs last season) is the blowout defeat to Tennessee. Remember that Tennessee is, at best, the 8^th best team in the SEC this season. And we're going to send this team to a BCS game? Ugh. Can we take the bid away already.

2 Dayne Crist, captain of the Notre Dame turnover machine – Tommy Rees replaced Dayne Crist as the Notre Dame quarterback in part because he is at least somewhat more careful with the football. Rees got hurt and missed a few plays in Saturday's loss to Notre Dame. Of course Crist did this...

… which caused this kind of reaction...

...which still wasn't as good as these

Come on, I had to work the RAGE FACE in again somewhere

1 What do you get when you mix awful football with anger and a streaker dressed as a ref? The likely number 1 Lowlight for the Year End Lowlights (warning second one has some NSFW language)

Given what we see here, maybe UCLA should just quit and be done with it this season. Note the score was 42-7 in the 2^nd quarter against a team that had already fired its coach. Can we admit this isn't working any longer?

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College Football Lowlights Countdown Week 7

10 Prayer for New Mexico – At least they scored. With 10 minutes left, that didn't look likely. Needless to say, I still blame Locksley. The final score of the beating the Lobos took against Nevada was 49-7 and the previously competent passing game was reduced to ashes (11-29, 89 yards). The pain never really ends in Albuquerque.

9 Festival of turnovers – Hawaii and San Jose St. put on an exciting Friday night game. Of course it was exciting. It was a festival of turnovers. Hawaii turned it over on four straight possessions. Of course, San Jose St. had to top that. They turned it over on five straight possessions later, and still managed to win the game because they won the turnover battle 7-5. Pathetic.

8 SEC Least – Somehow, the SEC East is even worse than it was last season. In fact, it is near reaching Big 12 North futility levels at this point. The scorecard: 0 wins over non-Mississippi teams and struggles by division favorites South Carolina and Georgia against Mississippi St. At this point, there is a decent chance the East division winner will be unranked come SEC Championship time, something that has never happened before in SEC history.

7 1 yard punt – What is it about Wisconsin and inducing bad punts. This one wasn't as bad as the Oregon St. negative punt in week two, but it was still bad. To the video...

6 Penn St. offensive futility report – Somehow Penn St. continues to win game despite a passing attack that often couldn't get a first down against air. This week Rob Bolden and Matt McGloin were 10-23 for 185 yards and 1INT. That was a significant improvement over normal (the standards aren't very high) and Penn St. won again, 23-18 over Purdue. And the only team that has managed to kill these sad sacks is Alabama. Wow.

5 UNLV misery report – At this point it has gotten that bad. UNLV was down 20-0 before anyone blinked against Wyoming. Then gave their fans hope by actually scoring this week, then snatched that hope back with another scoreless second half and a 41-14 defeat. The New Mexico game can't get here quick enough for this, but heaven help the Rebels if they manage to lose that one.

4 Todd Grantham vs James Franklin – Let's just say it was heated discussion weekend in football. This one went under the radar compared to the Jim Harbaugh-Jim Schwartz blowup in the pros, but it had the potential to be a whole lot worse. Of course we go to the picture for the evidence.

3 Utah-Pitt – Utah scored only 26 points on 3.3 yards per play. They were completely dominant. That is how bad of a fail the Pitt offense was in this game. If it was a higher profile matchup, this would rank even higher on this list. That said, Pitt had 70 yards of offense... at home... against a team getting clubbed in the Pac-12. Only because of a kickoff return touchdown and punt return touchdown was this game close, which of course made the offensive numbers worse because Utah had to keep the starting defense in.

2 1 pass to victory, and another Zookian blunder – The Ohio St.-Illinois game had its own brand of offensive offense. For one thing, the score was a lousy 17-7. For another, Ohio St. won the game while completing only one pass (they only tried four). Remember that Ohio St. is not an option team like others who have managed this feat over the last few season. They are supposed to be somewhat balanced maybe skewing a bit towards the running game, but not like this. Of course they managed to pull this off because Ron Zook's Illini finally put together a Ron Zook performance (in truth they had a few already against teams much too bad to manage an upset). The capper to this Zookian masterpiece of crap was Zook himself going for it on 4^th and 2 in the opposing redzone down 17-7 with a minute to go. At that point, KICK THE FRIGGIN FIELD GOAL. You need two scores. Illinois failed and the game was over.

1 Everything Florida-Auburn – Just trust me here. This game was an abomination. After having seen some terrible passing attacks (see last weeks Lowlights Countdown), nobody would begrudge announcers Brad Nessler and Todd Blackledge from drinking in the booth after this miserable display. The grisliness: including Wildcat, seven players took a snap a quarterback for one of the teams in this game. None were due to injury. Only Auburn backup Clint Moseley (now the starter just in time to die against the LSU defense) was remotely close to effective (and he was merely average). The Florida punt return team fumbled five punts, losing two including the last chance to tie the game in the 4^th quarter allowing Auburn to get the score to a respectable (but still bad) 17 points. And Florida's punter had a special kind of fail pictured below.

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Lowlights Countdown Week 6

10 Weekly Prayer for New Mexico – This week, there is no bad news for New Mexico. Of course most of that stems from not playing. The other is that there is a legitimate chance to get a victory on the schedule somehow. Just see number two at the end of this post.

9 Enduring Penn St. football – Just know that announcing you are turning to the Penn St. game on twitter gets you many tweets of either condolences o why would you torture yourself tweets. Yes it is that unwatchable in part because the Penn St. quarterbacks are awful and in part because the Penn St. defense is good enough that everyone else's quarterbacks look awful. At this point, I would recommend avoiding the Penn St.-Ohio St. game at all costs.

8 The UCLA Quarterback plague strikes again – UCLA quarterbacks are evidently made of glass. Let me edit that since that would be an insult to glass, which must be hit harder to shatter than any UCLA quarterback since 2006. In the Bruins game against Washington St., Richard Brehaut broke his leg. This marks the 7^th time in the last 3 years the UCLA starting quarterback has not finished a game due to injury. On top of that, there have been practice injuries and preseason injuries at the position and many of those have been non-contact injuries. One of many reasons UCLA is doomed.

7 Joe Bauserman, sign you're doomed – Ohio St. backup quarterback Joe Bauserman is an awful quarterback. He lack athletic ability, arm strength and accuracy. Nowhere was this more evident than in his 1-10 with an interception performance in relief of injured Braxton Miller while Nebraska was completing the largest comeback in school history. Worse yet, the completion was the first pass. Efficiency rating: .92

6 Offsides, on the kicker... - It takes a 'special' kind of talent to get this penalty. To the video we go...

Final five after the jump including the LSU punter celebration penalty and negative quarterbacking

College Football Lowlights Countdown Week 5

10 This week's prayer for New Mexico (sans Locksley) – Locksley might be gone, but his awful team he left behind remains. And we were once again reminded of how awful they are: Trailed woebegone New Mexico St. 21-0 at home after one quarter. Later trailed 35-7. Gave up 538 yards to one of the worst offensive teams in college football. Best (only???) hope for a win: November 12 vs UNLV, one of only two home games remaining.

9 Brett Favre, college football broadcaster – It's a combination of um, John Madden and shameless self promotion. Exactly what you would expect and just as bad too.

8 Dylan Favre, lamb led to the slaughter – Favre's nephew actually got in the game for Mississippi St. against Georgia. He promptly got sacked on his first play as his team continued to redefine offensive ineptitude after a hot start (it would appear the Mississippi St. offense is still lying bloodied and twitching down the river in the burlap sack LSU stuffed them into after beating them senseless).

7 ESPN Deportes choice of college football games – If I wanted to promote college footbal to a new audience, there are any number of good games I could have chosen from last weekend. So why on earth was ESPN Depotes showing the Ole Miss-Fresno St. game (I only know because in a brief channel change to check the score, I heard announcers yelling in Spanish on a look-in on the ESPN2 broadcast).

6 “An embarrassment to the WAC” - Those are the words of WAC commisssioner Karl Benson. So what happened? Another raid from the Mountain West sending the league further into oblivion? Boise St. is coming back to embarrass everyone else even more? Half our schools lost to FCS teams? The Sun Belt is better than us? No. None of that. How about a 22 minute replay review. Even though I have the video, I am not posting it. 22 minutes of nothing is just excruciating. Trust me. I watched it. And it is an embarrassment to the WAC, for whatever remains to embarrass.

5 The many atrocities of Penn St. and Indiana – Yes, it was bad. But I'm sure you already knew that given the awful Penn St. quarterbacking this season and Indiana in general. Just go check out this tweet from SI.com's Holly Anderson.

4 Another Tajh Boyd interception (no video this time though) – So you get a description of the only bad thing Clemson did in its destruction of Virginia Tech. In the 2^nd quarter, Boyd dropped back to pass. He threw a simple stop route. Problem was, his receiver ran a go route. Bigger problem, the VT cornerback saw immediately what was happening and ran a wide receiver stop route. The ball was then thrown right to him for an interception. When playing any of the NCAA video games, this is when you yell at your game for not throwing the ball where you wanted it. But evidently, it happens in real life too.

3 Knee to the Groin

Admittedly, this is not one of those funny groin shots. It is a malicious attempt to steal some poor smart guy's manhood. This cannot be tolerated (and evidently won't be since the offending linebacker has been suspended one game).

2 Ohio St. vs Michigan St. - All you need to know is that the most similar game yardage wise to this one I have seen is the immortal 3-2 Auburn-Mississippi St. game from 2008. Between that, the awful interceptions that Spartan QB Kirk Cousins continues to throw and Ohio St. passing game that hasn't improved since the Miami debacle (one of the single worst team passing days of the last 20 years, at least by a non-option team), this game was unwatchable. Heck, this game didn't even have entertaining trainwreck qualities to it like those involved in the final game on this list this week, in part because the expectations were for sheer awful terror going into this.

1 Stephen Garcia – 12/23, 112 yards, 1TD, 2INTs. Those are not Stephen Garcia's numbers. Those are the numbers of Auburn QB Barrett Trotter who somehow managed to win. Garcia was even worse: 9/23, 160 yards (50 of those on a badly thrown jump ball where Alshon Jeffery made a spectacular play to score), 1TD (the aforementioned Jeffery play) and 2INTs. Remember that Garcia was playing against the Auburn arson squad (that would be defense) that color analyst Steve Beuerlein compared unfavorably to air in the first quarter. To describe how bad Garcia was in this game, only one thing needs to be said: Connor Shaw is starting again this week. Remember that Connor Shaw has only played four drives this season in meaningful action and those four drives landed him on this list opening week.

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College Football Lowlights Countdown Week 4

10 New Mexico – They lost to an FCS team and Locksley was fired. Read more about their entire collection of Fail of the last few seasons here.

9 Minnesota's annual FCS slip up – Normally a BCS conference team losing to an FCS school is cause for top of this countdown. When that team is Minnesota though, we just shrug and go on with life. Such is life when you've lost 3 games in 5 years to FCS teams from the Dakotas and had a 10-9 win in one of those other years.

8 Everything Maryland – I know Temple is improved. They almost beat Penn St. last week. But they are still Temple and they aren't being coached by the guy who built them. Not even close. They are being coached by the guy who destroyed the Florida offense the last two years. How on Earth did you, Maryland, let this team beat the tar out of you. 38-7 should never, ever happen against Temple. Of course you did hire Randy Edsall. He lost to Temple last year and still went to the BCS. Trust me, that won't be happening here.

7 Tajh Boyd – Kudos to Clemson for finding a way to win against Florida St. Of course we had to have our Clemson being Clemson moment along the way.

6 Arkansas Gameplan – I know coaches want to run the football. Bobby Petrino is no exception. He shouldn't have bothered. The numbers are grisly. The running game had 17 carries for 19 yards. Not good. The only two drives were Arkansas didn't bother to run the football before the game was totally out of reach ended in touchdowns. Maybe you should have just thrown more. It worked in the first quarter and it worked in the 3^rd.

5 Auburn's urgency – The Tigers saw they were playing a really bad football team and didn't bother showing up to play. And it worked, even with that awful defense. Such is the awfulness of Florida Atlantic this season.

4 Army Passing Game – Maybe you need the threat of throwing. The option is a fine offense. Georgia Tech and Navy run it incredibly well. They at least have the threat of passing. Army? They only tried four passes, didn't complete any of them and lost to Ball St. by 27 points. Terrible.

3 UNLV – Evidently I will have a UNLV entry every week in this thing. Last week it was for someone losing to them (that UNLV over Hawaii result may end up being the single most befuddling result of the season when we get to December). This week it's for getting blown out, at home, by FCS Southern Utah. 41-16. Nothing more really needs to be said.

2 Justin Blackmon – The Cowboys stud receiver just needs to be glad his team held on to win.

1 Toledo against Syracuse – I don't understand how you miss the call on an extra point unless the ball is above the uprights (ala Boise St.-Nevada where there is legitimate dispute). How you miss a call when the ball goes in front of the uprights, I don't know. What I do know is that the replay ref should be tarred and feathered for missing the call when it was reviewed.

The Lowlights of Locksley – Chronicling the tenure of the worst coaching hire ever

The usual weekly Lowlights Countdown will run as usual tomorrow. Today, we get something extra special. For those who don't know, Lowlights favorite, worst coach in the country and all around pinhead Mike Locksley was fired by New Mexico yesterday, finally. Today's special Lowlights Countdown is the Countdown of Locksley, and it will be hard to keep only 10 it was so bad.

10 The stupidity of the hire in the first place – Most people don't realize this, but many thought this hire was absolutely asinine in the first place. Locksley had never been a head coach and he had only been a coordinator for four years. Normally that might be time to give someone a chance. Of course, the head coach he was working under was Ron Zook (don't know why anyone thought this might work right there). In addition, Locksley was hired for his recruiting ability. Don't know about you, but I don't know of a ton of black people living in New Mexico. Strike one on recruiting. Locksley also had not recruited below the BCS level since a stint at Army in 1996. Strike two on recruiting. Locksley had no ties to the region or conference. Strike three on recruiting. So lets recap. A Ron Zook coordinator was hired for his first head coaching job because of his ability as a recruiter in an area that he had no chance to recruit to. What could possibly go wrong? See below.

9 Threats about surveillance video in a bar – Between his first and second disasters, Locksley got into an argument with a student newspaper reporter in a bar in Albuquerque. Locksley, hothead that he is (as we will see later in this list), allowed the argument to get heated. There were no punches thrown and no charges. Everything could have easily been swept under the rug despite the altercation and nobody would have heard a word about it. Then Locksley, already in hot water because of his other transgressions, went back to the bar. He threatened the bar owner and tried to 'repossess' the video of the altercation. Luckily for Locksley (and for this blog that got an extra season of entertainment out of him), the tape showed nothing and this scandal went away.

8 The grisly numbers of the tenure – Of course the on field action was just as bad. Locksley was fired with a career record of 2-26 including an 0-4 start this season. Of course it gets much worse when we delve into the numbers. Loss in his only game against an FCS team. 2-15 in conference play. Just 15.8 points per game on offense. More points given up during the 2010 season than the Lobos scored in his entire tenure. I could go on but the numbers only get more depressing from there.

Locksley looking confused as his
team stinks the place up on Saturday.
Photo courtesy Albuquerque Journal

7 FCS Loser – I mentioned his loss in his only game against an FCS team on the previous entry. What I didn't mention was that it was Saturday. Locksley finally got his gimme game against Sam Houston St., a generally middling FCS program that occasionally makes the playoffs and has a really good team. Of course the Lobos didn't bother on defense (a defining trait under Locksley where the only teams they stopped were totally inept) and got to overtime. Once you get to overtime, anything can happen and New Mexico lost 48-45. I'm sure at this point any remaining fans in Albuquerque were not surprised though they are probably waiting for basketball season when Steve Alford's team is expected to challenge for the conference title.

6 Sexual Harassment and Age Discrimination, at the same time – When Locksley got to New Mexico, he of course wanted to bring his own people in. One of his mistakes was firing an athletic department employee who was 54. Of course it couldn't end that easily though. This is Locksley we are talking about. The woman sued over her firing saying Locksley had fired her so he could bring in a younger woman to help entice recruits. Oh boy here we go. The lawsuit was eventually dropped when the woman was given another job within the athletic department, but damage was done to Locksley's good name (this was the first incident of his tenure when he still had a good name).

5 72-0 – After the 1-11 debacle of an opening in 2009, there were hopes New Mexico would be better in year 2 under Locksley. Of course the schedule didn't cooperate. The Lobos were set to open against defending Pac-10 champion Oregon. Most (including me) looked at this game like the usual lamb being led to the slaughter game. Oregon would come out sluggish, then run over the Lobos before some garbage time scroing leading to a score along the lines of 52-14. What we got was oh so much worse. The Lobos looked like they had never watched film of Oregon's offense. They also looked like they hadn't bothered with off-season conditioning (though in Locksley's defense, Oregon does this to many teams). With star running back LaMichael James suspended, Oregon ran out to a 59-0 halftime lead. Then the expected garbage time came, and New Mexico still couldn't score. Final score: 72-0. No hope for the Lobos even though Oregon would go to the National Championship game.

4 Playing Punch Out with your assistants – Before the 2009 season, nobody really knew what we were getting with Locksley. Then the Lobos got steamrolled to open the season. Of course that's not the end of it. In a team meeting, Locksley got aggressive with wide receivers coach J.B. Gerald. He then punched him in the face. I'll leave the rest to the police report.

3 Losing to UNLV at home – The consequence of Locksley's punch out of his assistant was a 10-day suspension. Served during the season, this cost Locksley the home game against UNLV. No worries though. Even though New Mexico was winless, they were playing UNLV, the doormat of the league. The Rebels hadn't won a conference road game since 2004 and had looked exceptionally bad their previous three games, losing by a combined score of 157-64. Included in that was giving up over 700 yards of offense to Nevada. Of course, Locksley's Lobos continues to look like a disorganized mess (with or without him) and the Rebels actually played a decent offensive game to win 34-17 in Albuquerque. Since then, UNLV has fired its coach, lost to an FCS team (last week as well), generally looked awful and, of course, hasn't won a road game (best chance is later this season when they go back to Albuquerque).

2 New Mexico St. 2010 – I'm not chronicling the awfulness of this game on this blog for a 3^rd time. New Mexico lost. The game was miserable. Watch the video highlights (if you can call them that) below.

1 Recruit arrested driving his car – The final straw on the tenure of Locksley happened over the weekend and it wasn't losing to an FCS team. No, it was something far worse. A friend of his son who identified himself as a prospective New Mexico recruit was arrested for DUI on the way to the game, while driving a car registered to Locksley. To start, the recruit is 19 and therefore underaged. This is a problem in the law sense even above the DUI. Then, the car is registered to Locksley. This is an NCAA violation. Finally, the game was a 4pm. I guess the kid found some people to tailgate with because otherwise this is mighty early for a move like this.

The factors involved here along with all the past history and the continued losing finally ended to the tenure of Locksley. It almost makes me wish he had gotten the Maryland job last year that he interviewed for (what the heck were they thinking unless it was just a we have to say we interviewed a minority coach interview?). Then, the comedy would have continued at another level and the smoking crater left at New Mexico could still be chronicled here.

All that said, good luck to Mr. Locksley in whatever he does in the future. He has given me much entertainment while writing about him the last few years.

College Football Lowlights Countdown Week 3

10 Weekly New Mexico Fail Report – The opponent was Texas Tech, but at least at home. That didn't much matter. Mr. Locksley's boys continued to find new forms of ineptitude. This time by allowing a NCAA record for completion percentage with over 40 attempts. Oh yeah and the final score was 59-13. At least there is a FCS team on the schedule next week (the way Memphis got its win on Saturday).

9 Holy War, more like Holy Massacre - BYU and Utah were thought to be pretty even this season. Evidently not. BYU turned it over SEVEN times in the process of getting blown out 54-10. That whole independence thing isn't really working so far. A blowout loss to Utah. A loss to Texas when Gilbert still played. And a win over Ole Miss by one point in a game where the offense did nothing. And Ole Miss is coming next on this list. Methinks Bronco Mendenhall might need a hug.

8 Being blown out by Vandy is the surest way to lose your job (heck even losing to them can do that can't it Mr. Tuberville) – Houston Nutt is cooked. Done. Goodnight. Might not last the season, except for one of the worst buyouts in the entire country. Losing to Vanderbilt when already on the hotseat will do that. Of course Nutt has now lost to three different Vandy coaches (unpardonable sin in SEC land) and handed Vandy is easiest conference victory in 40 years. And he's done it while epically botching yet another quarterback situation. As an aside, the guy can coach everywhere but the quarterback quite well. As for the most important position on the field, he is the worst to ever do it, without question. He takes talented quarterbacks and makes them awful. And it doesn't matter what kind of system he is running so its not just a square peg/round hole type situation. And of course we have our obligatory embarrassing gif at well:

7 Aren't the kickoff returners supposed to have good hands – Words cannot describe how comically bad this play was for Washington. It also ended any slim upset hopes that were remaining.

6 Should it really have been played? - Oklahoma St. and Tulsa started their game after midnight local time because of lightning. They finished after 3 am. There has to be another way.

5 You were blown out by UNLV... WHAT? - Hawaii come on down to lowlights. You normally don't take up residence here, but losing badly to UNLV will do that. Remember that UNLV was obliterated by over 50 points by Washington St. last week.

4 600 yards of offense, you have to be kidding me – The Auburn defense could use some tackling practice this week. OK and maybe every week for all eternity. And that will just get them to average. The tackling was bad enough I felt the need to throw the defense under the bus on my facebook. Normally things like that are reserved for twitter.

3 600 yards rushing and over 40 yards per completion, I guess the defense really was air – I'll just post the box score and let you digest the awfulness that was the Kansas defense. Considering Kansas is coached by former Tom Osborne option quarterback Turner Gill, you would think they would be a little better prepared for Georgia Tech's triple option offense.

2 It's only that its Western Kentucky that this isn't later on this list... - You were blown out by FCS Indiana St. that was winless three years ago and won one game two years ago. I rest my case.

1 All four Boston College fans in existence are still crying. 0-3 with a loss to Duke at home on the resume now. Here are the highlights (or the lowlights given where I put this)

Lowlights Countdown Week 2

10 Weekly New Mexico Fail Update – Of course Coach Locksley and his Lobos were going to lose. Everybody expected that this week. They were playing at Arkansas. Of course getting outgained by over 300 yards and beaten to a pulp (52-3) was not expected. Arkansas is not exactly known as a defensivve juggernaut. Heck, they are supposed to be winning their game like Auburn does (all offense, no 'D' and just enough special teams. Of course Locksley and his Lobos had to go and make them look like world beters because that is what Locksley and his merry band of Lobos does.

9 Somebody Might have actually been a worse coaching hire than Locksley (I didn't think it was possible) – Mike Locksley, meet Larry Porter. Mike Locksley, be glad you met Larry Porter, the new front runner for coaching futility (of course nobody will match the Locksley off field rap sheet). Porter was 1-11 in his first season last year, only beating Middle Tennessee St. in a game where MTSU's quarterback was suspended. This year, it looks worse. Of course Memphis lost badly to Mississippi St. That doesn't matter. Losing 47-3 to Arkansas St. though. Ugh. That's another situation entirely. I know Arkansas St. might be good, but they are still a Sun Belt team being coached by a guy who was a high school coach not that long ago. How do you lose to them 47-3 (Of course the answer is by being miserable)? Now, Memphis must beat Austin Peay or will likely go winless. This is not a gimme despite Austin Peay's 72-10 loss to Cincinnati a couple of weeks ago.

8 Penn St. QB Play – Rob Bolden was awful for Penn St. against Alabama. He should start and never come off the field. When the alternative is a former walk-on who went 1-10 passing and has shown interception machine tendencies, you should never come off the field. Of course, Penn st. really needs to get both of them off the field and find someone else before Joe Paterno wastes his last few years in quarterback purgatory.

7 Mascots Flying into Windows is a bad thing – I'm an Auburn alum. I love my eagle flying around the stadium before the game. I'm still going to make fun of it if something goes wrong, just like I would if Bevo, Ralphie or Uga did something crazy. And Spirit, Auburn's eagle, definitely did something crazy Saturday. He flew into the window. Ouch. Not good. Not good at all. At least he is OK. That said, what the heck happened? How does the eagle fly into a window like a garden variety bird that's never seen a window before? What was it thinking? Did it forget its training?

6 The Rest of the Big Ten – At least Penn St. lost to a quality opponent (Alabama). The rest of the Big Ten (Wisconsin, Michigan St. and Michigan exempted) either played FCS schools, lost, or played very badly in closer than expected wins as heavy favorite. The carnage list: Minnesota lost to New Mexico St. (and this would have happened anyway despite the seizure suffered by their coach Jerry Kill, it was 4^th and 10 for the ball game when it happened), Purdue lost on a blocked field goal at Rice (also, why on Earth was Purdue playing Rice on the road in front of 27 people and their friends), Iowa lost to Iowa St. again (this happens every so often and it never should) and Indiana lost to Virginia (passable given Indiana's state but still...). Also, Ohio St. probably should have lost to Toledo and Nebraska went sleepwalking through their game and nearly lost to Fresno St. Terrible.

5 Garrett Gilbert – Put your transfer papers in now and start looking for a school son, at least if you want to ever see the field again. Gilbert was awful against BYU (2-8, 2INTs). His relief combined (Case McCoy and David Ash) to go 9-11 and can add a running threat that Gilbert does not. Looks to me like Gilbert is done and his drop to third on the depth chart this week says he most certainly is.

4 It was Washington St., how did you manage that – OK I get that Washington St. and Oregon St. seem to have switched places. That means Wazzu is probably average. Still, they are starting a backup QB. How, UNLV, did you manage to get clubbed by them worse than you did against Wisconsin? What bizarre manner of awful did you create to pull that one off?

3 Negative Yardage Punting, and that was the high point – Oregon St.'s punter had quite the miserable start Saturday. First quarter and he punted in a 0-0 game. Nothing abnormal here until you see he kicked it -4 yards. Yes, that's negative four. No it wasn't blocked and there was also no wind. If that was all that was needed for a college scholarship, I shouldn't be paying student loans off right now.

2 Icing Your Own Kicker... Twice – The Arizona St.-Missouri game could have its own Lowlights countdown entry. Believe me, it was the epitome of stupid football, all game long (though surprisingly no interceptions). To cap all of the stupid I witnessed Friday night, I saw Missouri head coach Gary Pinkel ice his own kicker before the game winning kick, twice. WHAT/ Yes, he iced his own kicker from over 45 yards away twice. Of course the kicker missed and Arizona St. won in overtime despite blowing a two touchdown lead in the 4^th in part because of a muffed punt (this game had all manner of idiot except interceptions).

1 One First Down – It would be tough to top icing your own kicker twice, especially when you are a Sun Belt sacrifice to a Big Ten school. Of course, Florida Atlantic is not your normal team this season. They just played a game against Michigan St. where they got 1 first down. 1. That's it. I think me and 5 friends along with a Sun Belt offensive line could manage 2. 1 first down. Unbelievable. Here is the single most depressing drive chart I have ever seen, at least as it relates to offense: FAU - Michigan St. Drive Chart