10 Prayer for New Mexico – Wait a minute. What do you mean? These sadsack losers actually managed to win a game? Against who? ...UNLV. Oh, that explains everything. Wait a minute! Even UNLV should have clubbed this guys. Since the most miserable (performance wise) college head coach to ever walk the Earth was fired, this team somehow had gotten worse. More on the idiocy of UNLV to lose this game later (come on, anyone who regularly reads this blog knows what number 1 is going to be. Every team to lose to New Mexico for the last three years has been number 1).
9 I know there was more to this game... - but come on. The Penn St.-Nebraska game played out exactly like anyone with a brain would have thought it might play out before the scandal. The Penn St. offense was its usual train wreck and the Penn St. defense made life miserable for Nebraska's offense, making for the normal unwatchable Penn St. game. And it will be more of the same next week against Ohio St. until Wisconsin incinerates the Nittany Lions at Camp Randall in a couple of weeks.
8 The Pac-12 South goes to new lows – I know there was wind and snow that the sunny Southern teams aren't used to, but this was ridiculous. UCLA played its first snow game in over 30 years. It showed. They blew control of the division getting smoked by Utah 31-6. Then Arizona St. gave it right back, getting bombed by Washington St.'s 3rd string quarterback for nearly 500 passing yards. Meanwhile, Arizona hit a new low in the frozen wind of Folsom Field in Colorado where they handed the previously totally incompetent Buffaloes their first conference win. Do we really have to play the Conference Championship Game this season?
7 Another common theme Texas A&M... - I think everyone should know where this is going. A&M led Kansas St. by double digits in the 4th quarter. They lost, as usual. That said, the middle of the SEC never looked so enticing (more on them later). Those teams can't score enough to make the necessary comebacks.
6 Toledo defense – Toledo had scored 60 and 66 points the last two weeks for an average of 63. They salvaged a split. And no this isn't the basketball lowlights. Those don't start until we get to conference play in January.
5 Boise St. kicking game – Yes, you get to see all the failures of the kicking game in the last couple of years. You, Boise St., have wanted to be accepted into the top levels of college football. At least your kicking game is well on the way, at least if you want the Bobby Bowden Florida St. treatment.
4 Memphis, Memphis, Memphis – You hired Locksley without the off field garbage. Larry Porter is awful. He might be worse than Locksley as a pure coach (at least without all the other nonsense). And he took his craft of misery to a new low on Saturday. UAB 41, Memphis 35. OK, it was a bad loss in a game that ESPN couldn't even be bothered to watch long enough to have a play-by-play feed up (seriously). Then you realize that Memphis blew a 24 point lead in the 4th quarter to one of the worst teams in the country. Facepalm...
3 The middle of the SEC – Just avoid this at all costs. LSU and Alabama are incredible. Arkansas is quite good. Georgia has developed rather nicely over the course of the season and if you don't believe me, go ask Auburn, who were taken to the woodshed by the Bulldogs even worse than LSU did. The rest of the SEC is pretty much horse poo at this point. South Carolina without Lattimore looks like an SEC team from the 2005 dark ages when we regularly were getting utter offensive misery (remember that Alabama that season started 9-0 under Mike Shula while scoring the rough equivalent of nothing, beating one of the worst Tennessee teams ever 6-3). Auburn has been blown out four times and its game against Florida was one of the most abominable and unwatchable games in years (since the 2008 Auburn team redefined bad offensive football). Florida didn't even get its customary Georgia gift this season and everything else about them has been utterly miserable since the mirage to start the season. Tennessee evidently is cursed for all eternity for angering the football gods (fired Fulmer for Kiffin) and the rest are the rest, where only Vanderbilt is performing at or above expectations. When Vandy is the bright light of the bottom of the league, the league is awful, no matter how improved Vandy is. Because they're Vandy.
2 What happened at Texas Tech? - Since getting up 31-7 on Oklahoma, the Red Raiders have been outscored 190-43. Yes, I know they won the Oklahoma game (in what appears to be one of the most befuddling results since the 2007 top team meltdown), but yeesh. Even the fans can do nothing more than hang their heads in shame.
1 You lost to New Mexico? - You, UNLV have even managed to top your own standards of total futility. And considering you lost by over 20 to an FCS team in September and hadn't managed it yet, this is telling. Heck, New Mexico over the last 3-4 weeks hadn't even looked like a good high school team How could you lose to them on the road? Let's go to the carnage report (aka the box score) to see the damage done: Nothing of importance. WHAAAAATT???? The stats are normal. You lost to New Mexico without turnovers, flukiness or anything else weird other than giving up an 80 yard TD on the first play of the game? This really is a new low. If the coaching staff wasn't in the second year of digging UNLV out of a crater that evidently is as bad as New Mexico's is for the new coach there, I would fire them all, but who would UNLV get anyway. We all know the only reason they even play football there at this point is to keep the basketball team in a halfway decent league, something they would not be allowed in without a football team (the WCC and all of its religious schools aren't taking UNLV, ever).
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