Nov 30, 2011

Lowlights - Because even Thanksgiving can give us unintentional football comedy

10 Weekly prayer for New Mexico – The pathetic Lobos had a bye week this week. Sadly, that means I don't have much to say about my weekly punching bag until next week's inevitable blowout loss on the blue turf to Boise St. Hopefully Bob Davie has some idea of the smoking crater he is walking into (of course it couldn't be as bad as number 1 on this countdown, a game he witnessed in person)

9 The look of terror in the punters eyes when he screws up


8 The season long trend of blowing a lead – Texas A&M did what the 2011 version of Texas A&M does, one last time. They blew a lead. For the 5th time this season, the Aggies led by double digits and lost the game. And they even managed to do it in the most agonizing way possible: by having their opponent make a kick on the final play (something everybody else has pretty much failed miserably at all season)

7 The season long trend of blowing a lead... part 2, the less publicized version – Also in the blowing a lead category, we have Pittsburgh, a team that has done it nearly as well as Texas A&M and also managed to do it in what could be the last game of an important rivalry after blowing a 20-7 lead against West Virginia. Of course, this trend first popped up in week 3 against Iowa when the Panthers made the Hawkeyes look like Oklahoma St. in the 4th quarter. It continued through five total losses after holding a second half lead. Terrible.

6 Schnelly's a winner – Since senile and retiring old man Howard Schnellenberger finally won a game this season, that means someone else is a big loser. Worthy of this list. That man in Neil Callaway, former head coach at UAB. Not that is would have mattered, but UAB fired (ok Callaway “resigned”) him Sunday after five year of pathetic football, topped off by the second most pathetic loss of anyone is college football this season (the worst is obviously UNLV finding a way to lose to New Mexico).

5 Adding insult to whatever Ole Miss tired to pass off as a football season this year – Ole Miss was awful. Everyone knows that. Houston Nutt is a pathetic coach of quarterbacks. Everyone knows that too. That said, a Nutt quarterback finally had a bright spot in the final game. Trailing 31-3, Barry Brunetti (the umpteenth failed quarterback this season) finally threw a perfect catch. It was caught for a touchdown. Ole Miss fans, miserable from this season and getting blown out by a rival, got a touchdown with 10 seconds to go. Of course, it was overturned (correctly). And thus, the most delusional and idiotic fanbase in college football was punched in the stomach, again. As deserved (even if they are completely right about their outgoing moron of a coach).

4 Losing to Colorado at home is worthy of this list – As it turned out with the other results, all Utah had to do was win the game against Colorado to steal the Pac-12 South after an 0-4 conference start. In addition, that game was against Colorado, who's seniors were 0 for their careers in road games. Of course the Utes lost. Of course, the Utes still win by losing. They aren't getting sent to Oregon to be bludgeoned and they still have a competent coach who was in an obvious rebuilding situation as opposed to the idiocy that reigns pretty much every where else except USC in this division.

3 50-0, and the champs are the losers? - I'm thankful UNLV's big basketball win over North Carolina was on at the same time. Actually, so is the rest of the world considering that USC was so far in front of UCLA that a Bruin NFL alumni team couldn't have come back in the 2nd half. All anyone needs to know is that college basketball between teams from other areas was trending on twitter here in Los Angeles and the USC-UCLA debacle was not.

2 You let a wide receiver playing quarterback end of the longest streaks in the sport? - Tennessee hadn't lost to Kentucky since 1984. Many of you readers weren't even born the last time it happened (I was all of a year old). Of course, Kentucky beat Tennessee over the weekend. But that's not the truly low part of this. The low part is Kentucky played a wide receiver a quarterback and managed a grand total of 15 yards passing. Given that and the parts of the game I saw, I thought the misery on display on the field was destined for number 1 this week, then I saw...

1 ...The Worst Game in Sunshine Rivalry History – Florida St. 21, Florida 7. Yet that scoreline so doesn't do this masterpiece of misery justice. This was the worst offensive game I have ever seen parts of (and I watched all of 3-2 back in 2008). The carnage for Florida St.: 95 total yards, longest drive of 20 yards, 9 punts, 1 turnover, 1 missed FG and 1 turnover on downs. The even worse carnage for Florida: 184 total yards (though we have come to expect this out of Florida's miserable offense this season), longest drive of 70 yards (see below for how that piece of garbage ended), 4 Interceptions, and 9 punts. The game was so bad, Bob Davie had a running count on the screen of the number of negative plays each team ran. It encompassed nearly 1/3 of the game. The game also included this gem on 4th and 1 from Florida after the longest drive of the game by either team:
And that, my friends is how to sum up the single worst offensive game in many years. 4th and 1 quarterback sneak loses 18 yards without a fumble.

No comments:

Post a Comment